Sailor Natsuki
by Sepiktik
Summary: After leaving a karaoke party celebrating Nao's conversion to Christianity, Natsuki has an accident and meets a sailor who leads her down the path of justice. There is only one way to save the sports of sailing and fishing: become Sailor Natsuki.
1. Chapter 1

**Sepiktik**

**Sailor Natsuki**

* * *

**1: Snapshot**

When Nao was told she would have to convert to Christianity to continue working as a nun at Fuuka

Academy, she didn't think much of it. To her, it was just another label to add to her collection. She decided to go through with the conversion. All of the blackmail material she got from her confessions were worth more than her pay.

Mai insisted that they throw a karaoke party in celebration of Nao's newfound religion. Nao could not resist. She decided that she'd rather go to her own party willingly rather than in bondage. And now, Nao watched as Mai began another song, her 24th in a row. Nobody was really paying her any attention, but Mai either didn't notice or didn't care. She was way too far gone into her karaoke.

Nao leaned back on the couch, observing all of the good, Christian fun that was going on around her. Midori had drunk enough alcohol to almost bring her into a comatose state, and was groping everything in sight. Alcohol – love potion #9.

Midori pounced onto Nao and started groping her. Nao decided to let this go on. It felt good without her having to do anything and gave her some more blackmail material against Midori, who was apparently unaware she was jailbait.

Shizuru had sat Natsuki down in her lap, covering her eyes with one hand and wrapping the other around her stomach to protect her innocence from the debauchery going on around them. Natsuki was struggling to break free, and unknowingly was grinding her hips into Shizuru, who was currently experiencing some _very_ pleasurable sensations.

And Mikoto, having finished all of the food, began eating the table. Chie and Aoi were also there, in a distant corner of the room. Their activities had long progressed past groping. Chie's camera phone was taped to a nearby wall and was dutifully recording their activities for posterity.

"Shizuru! Let me go! If you don't let me go, I'm leaving!"

"No. My Natsuki is too young to be exposed to this," Shizuru replied.

"Fine, then! I'm leaving."

Natsuki pulled herself out of Shizuru's grasp and left the building. Shizuru was mildly disappointed, but knew that she would see Natsuki again tomorrow.

* * *

**2: Grand Theft Auto**

Natsuki looked around, dismayed.

"Oh, shieet. Nigga stole my bike."

Suddenly, Superman appeared, with a bike in tow.

"Have no fear, Superman is here!"

* * *

**3: Unlikely**

Natsuki got on her motorcycle and headed home. Suddenly, when she was heading around the cliff where Nao had caught her during the Carnival, she ran into some dense air. Her motorcycle flipped through the air. Natsuki, trying to save her life and her motorcycle at the same time, managed to make the bike lift a little before it went off the cliff. Natsuki finished her 1080º vertical rotation and managed to slide to a stop on a sail boat.

A sailor came out of his cabin, holding a knife.

"What do you think you're doing on my boat?"

"Umm... It was an accident?"

"Oh, okay then. Would you like to join me for some fish? I'm a little depressed right now :["

"Sure. Why are you depressed, Mister Sailor Dude?"

**[TL;DR Warning**

"All of my life, sailing has been my pastime. The sea has been my only true friend for all these years. Whenever I'm lonely, I set sail. But recently, all of my knots have been undoing themselves. It's like everyone's out to get me. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The Searrs Foundation has run out every other company which makes ropes and has replaced them with their nanorope, which undoes itself whenever I get far out at sea. And this only happens in ships not made by them. I bet they're trying to get a hold on the sailing industry and put all the other companies out of business, those bastards."

"Oh, dear."

"But only you can help me! Only you! Take pity upon this poor sailor! Sail the seas, fighting the evil of Searrs, and help revive sailing! Take the wheel! Be the hero! Eat the cheese! Drink the fine wine of victory as it dribbles down your chin! Take the fishing rod of heroes and become... Sailor Natsuki!"

"Uh... okay. How do you know my name?"

"I've been stalking you for the past year."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

**4: Shift**

Back at the party, Chie and Aoi managed to involve Nao and Midori in their orgy somehow. They were having a fearsome foursome. Mai was still singing on stage, oblivious. Mikoto was curled up on the couch, asleep, only a few feet away from the sexfest, and Shizuru had gone home to get her beauty sleep. Chie's phone was still dutifully recording.

* * *

**5: Formalities**

"If you want to be a true Sailor of Justice, then you must wear the uniform," the depressed sailor said, holding up a sailor fuku.

"Do sailors even wear these?"

"No, but Sailors of Justice do."

* * *

**6: Business**

Alyssa Searrs spun around in her desk chair, giddy from her newest evil plan. She simply had to tell someone. She pushed a button at her desk, causing some lesbian porn to appear on her screen.

"Whoops, wrong button."

She tried another button, and an explosion was heard in the distance.

"Dammit, I should label these. If this next one doesn't work, I'll stop being evil."

Fortunately for evil, she prevailed, and Miyu entered the room.

* * *

**7: Nuclear**

The roof of the karaoke club caved in, and debris started falling from the ceiling. Chie, Aoi, Midori, and Nao all noticed, but were too exhausted to care. Mai was still singing on-stage, and Mikoto was in deep sleep on the couch.

* * *

**8: Serious Business**

"... and that, Miyu, is my business plan," Alyssa said,

"You are very evil, Miss Alyssa."

"I know, right?"

The camera cuts to a nearby whiteboard.

Business Plan:

Make nanoropes

Sell nanoropes

Profit

"Say, Miyu, do you want to try that with me?" Alyssa asked, pointing to her screen.

"Your wish is my command, Miss Alyssa."

"Please, call me Mistress."

* * *

**9: Fishing**

The old sailor looked proudly at Natsuki, who was standing in all of her glory in her new sailor fuku. But there was still one thing left to do.

"Sailor Natsuki. You have valiantly decided to help me on my journey. But you are not yet prepared to take on the seas. You will be at sea constantly, without food, friends, or clean water. I will teach you how to feed yourself on the seas.

The sailor handed Natsuki a Super Rod.

"Go over there to the edge of the boat, and throw your lure out. It doesn't matter if you have any bait, for some reason. Eventually, a fish will bite. When that happens, keep pressing B."

Natsuki headed to the bow of the ship and cast her lure out. She waited and waited. Eventually, she felt a tug on her line. She kept pressing B, and a fish flew from the water into her lap, jumping around spastically. Natsuki looked down proudly upon her catch.

"FUCK YEAH! SEAKING!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Sepiktik**

**Sailor Natsuki**

* * *

**1: Aftermath**

Aoi shifted underneath the pile of rubble. After a legendary foursome with Chie, Nao, and Midori, the roof of the karaoke joint had caved in and trapped them. Exhausted from too much hawt yuri secks, they were powerless to escape from the mountain of rubble on top of them. Mai was also trapped under the rocks, but was still singing and apparently didn't notice the collapse of the building around her. Aoi called out to Mikoto, who had somehow evaded the falling rocks. "Mikoto! Help us!"

Mikoto dutifully jumped over and began eating them out.

* * *

**2: With an F150**

Meanwhile, in his cabin, the depressed sailor, dressed in a skirt and blouse, looked into the mirror and giggled.

"I'd hit that."

* * *

**3: Reflection**

On her balcony, Alyssa stared out into the distance at the night sky, listening to the musical stylings of Slipknot, contemplating life and existence. With a pensive look on her face, she took a hit from her cigarette. Miyu briefly fiddled around with her fingers, before deciding to join Alyssa on the balcony. "Mistress, may I have a word with you?"

Alyssa stared at Miyu for a moment, before slapping her across the cheek and exhaling the smoke in her face.

"NO, BITCH! GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!"

* * *

**4: Survive**

Natsuki paced around on the deck of the ship, wondering where the sailor had went. "Where is that bastard? He was supposed to teach me how to cook my food."

Suddenly, Survival Expert appeared out of thin air.

"He is indisposed at the moment, though I will teach you how to cook your food in his place."

Survival Expert handed Natsuki a Bronze Axe and a Tinderbox.

"See that Tree over there," the Survival Expert asked.

"No," Natsuki replied.

"Chop it down and then use your Tinderbox to light a fire," she continued, ignoring Natsuki.

Natsuki gritted her teeth and smashed her Bronze Axe into the deck of the ship, ripping up planks of wood. She lit a fire with her Tinderbox, which quickly began devouring the ship.

"Now what do I do?"

"Use the Seaking with the fire to cook it."

Natsuki used her Seaking on the fire and burnt it.

"WTF IT TURNED INTO A NIGGER," she exclaimed, expressing displeasure at her mediocre cooking skills.

"This one must be defective," she thought, and prepared to throw the burnt fish back into the ocean.

Suddenly, great waves rose up and exclaimed, "SORRY, OCEAN IS CLOSED DUE TO AIDS!"

"kfyn," Natsuki surrendered, a prophet speaking the words of the Goddess Gina.

"It seems like you burnt the fish," the Survival Guide said. "Catch another fish and try cooking it."

"TO HELL WITH THAT, BITCH!"

"Fine then, fatass." The Survival Guide made an uncooking pot appear. "Just use your Burnt Seaking with the uncooking pot."

"LOL GAMESHARK," exclaimed Natsuki, joyful at the ability to uncook foods. Natsuki uncooked the Burnt Seaking and decided to have another go at this cooking business. Natsuki bent on her knees, leaned into the fire, leaned back, and stood up, holding a well-cooked Seaking.

"Now what?"

"You eat it, idiot."

Natsuki opened wide and swallowed it whole. "OH SNAP! MY HITPOINTS ARE NOW OVER 9000!"

"But that won't save you from this, bitch," the Survival Expert said, pointing into the distance.

"LOL WUT?" Natsuki queried, turning her head around so fast she got whiplash.

A huge megagigantic palpitudinous wave of fire had engulfed the ship and was heading straight towards Natsuki.

The last thought Natsuki had was "osht" before words flashed across her eyes.

Oh dear, you are dead.

* * *

**5: "Unfamiliar Ceiling"**

"Tha fuck?"

Natsuki found herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.

She tilted her head to the left and found herself staring at an unfamiliar bedmate.

"OH GOD SHIZURU WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Shizuru smiled a little and said, "I undressed you and violated you in your sleep."

Natsuki breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, phew. That's cool with me."

Shizuru's face showed a forlorn look, rare for the usually calm woman. "Natsuki?"

"Yes?" Natsuki asked, raising herself up to look at Shizuru.

"You made a commitment to be Sailor Natsuki, right? That's a big responsibility. You can't back out now. And you have to travel the world, and I have my responsibilities here, so I can't go with you. You understand, right? As much as I want to be with you, I can't right now."

"Oh. I understand."

Shizuru perked up. "But you can have this as a little reminder of me when you come back. This is a satellite-operated dildo made with my years of experience as an expert in applied dildonics. Just think of me whenever you feel it, okay?"

"How will this help me on my epic quest to save fishing and the galaxy?"

Shizuru facepalmed.

* * *

**7: Can it be poetry time now?**

Let me fish out the evil within you, make it choke to death upon my glorious rod.

My will is law, and my will supreme, my satisfaction guaranteed. For I am God.

I gain a twisted sense of satisfaction, at the thought of killing fish,

I wish... Shizuru, come here so I can make you my bitch.

Other women need dildos but I need them not,

It seems, as it looks some of you have forgot,

My mighty rod, the rod of God, laced with formaldehyde

Will feel good impaled in your backside

* * *

**8: Familiar**

"Thanks, Mikoto. You saved our lives there," Aoi said.

Mikoto displayed a shit-eating grin, a twinkle in her eye.

She pounced upon the girls and began eating them out.

* * *

**Unexplained**

Natsuki: Why is he a crossdresser l0l?

Depressed Sailor: Ever since I was a young boy, I always felt that I should've been born as a girl, and it was some wicked coincidence of fate and chance that made me come into this world as a male. So I have done my best to remedy that. I started wearing women's clothes at a young age, and I became --

Natsuki: LOL STFU FAG

Depressed Sailor: becomes an hero

* * *

**Irrelevant**

Immoral: There was too much dick in it.

Sepiktik: But he was in a blouse and skirt.

Immoral: So? IT WAS A TRAP!

* * *

**Acknowledgments**

Special thanks to Immoral Gina for being a great beta, a great person, and understanding the displeasures of wet socks and waking up with a cock in your ear.

I reformatted this because it looked ugly. (I did it in Notepad the first time). Expect a new chapter soon.


End file.
